Thirty-five Ways to Get Rid of Boredom in Class
by Dylan Use-a-Bell
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School sucks, everyone knows that. So...while reading a site, I decided "HEY! I'm Horny!" But as Jesus would say, "Don't jack off! Laugh off!" So...while in class I thought of the 35 funniest things to do, to freak people out. So here you go and SHUT UP!
- Act schizophrenic, and shift your eyes around nervously yelling "Where are you guys!"
- Pretend to have an invisible snow ball fight.
- Hold your pencil like a gun, and point it at people and pretend to shoot it yelling "Infidel!!" (really funny if the principle walks in)
- Walk around the class room self-loathing - saying stuff like "I hate myself" "Why does everyone hate me" "It's always raining in my mind"
- Pretend to be a rodent - like start gnawing on stuff and act all shift and anxious
- Act like you just got shot
- Have a fun little game of Marco Polo
- When you raise your hand to be called on, and if the teacher doesn't call on you, through a big fit - throw yourself on the ground start yelling "NEVER EVER EVER EVER!" "STUPID SCHOOL!" I mean really start pounding your fists on the ground and kicking desks
- Using erasers and other small objects you might have, act out nursery rhymes with lyrics and everything
- Cut out paper in the shape of a snake, put it on the ground and start yelling "SNAKE SNAKE!"
- Point on the ground where someone is about to step and say "Wait don't step there!" Watch out" "O my God it's huge" "Holy Crap it's right there" and when they back up act like it's still under their foot
- When someone is doing something, act disapproving and sing a song about it. Example: Someone is leaning back in there chair "When you rock back in your chair! You'll get HERPES and die!"
- Act like a villain and make up some crazy way to destroy the world. Example: "I am the Polluter! I will destroy this puny planet by polluting it! HAHA!" (then knock all your papers and books on the ground)
- Start being all spirited and optimistic -- "OMG THIS IS THE BEST CLASS EVER! IT'S SO AWSOME, I LEARN SO MUCH!!!!!" then turn to another person "THAT'S GOTTA BE THE BEST SHIRT EVER! WHERE'D YOU GET IT! IT'S JUST FABULOUS!"
- Pretend to be talking on the phone
- Do #15, and act like your talking to your girlfriend who just told you she is pregnant
- Act like you're a VJ on MTV
- If you're a guy, start singing I ain't no hollaback girl
- If you're a chick start saying "My boobs are the biggest boobs - EVER!
- When called on to answer a question start making a face like you're having an orgasm
- If you're a guy raise your hand and ask (especially in Sex Ed.) "When will I start to get breasts!"
- Turn to the person next to you. Say that when ever you get nervous you wet yourself. Then tell her a story - "Well I was in church, they asked me what they just said...I wasn't paying attention, I wet myself and said really loud `UH OH!" so everyone knew I just wet myself." - Then raise your hand to answer a question, act like you don't know it then say really loud "UH OH!"
- Try to convince people you were famous
- Get the person next to you to get to notice you, then drop your pencil, look at them and say "Well...are you gonna get it."
- Pretend like you're takeing a shower.
- Start to count everything like you're the Count off Sesame Street
- Try to convince people that Elmo was caught with Speed the other day
- Think what animal your teacher looks like then ask her if she if she is what ever animal she looks like
- Have your left and right hand have an argument about which one if your favorite
- Act like you're in love with the teacher (blow kisses, giggle, ect...)
- Make up a rhyme like the Fanta commercial. Example: Stuck in class with Mr.Johnson sucks in school, Have a fanta it's nice and cool!
- On your papers, every time you answer a question write `The End'
- When a teacher says a word, act like it's Pee Wee's playhouse and say that was the Word of the Day
- Start saying and acting like Cast Away in the middle of class
- Pretend to be flying